You can relax, I know most of my readers are parents so let me assure you, when I talk about ‘Let it go’, i’m not going to talk about THAT movie.
What I am going to talk about is the concept of ‘letting things go’ and ‘moving on’.
I’ve been catching up on the musings of fellow blogger ourrachblogs, a self affirmed gob-shite. I like this as people should speak out against foolishness. In the wake of the recent terrorism in the UK, she asked why she should have to carry on ? Why pretend that she’s not scared? Why is being afraid frowned upon by the media? She raises a valid point about people’s feelings not being allowed, in order to make other people feel less uncomfortable. This in turn and in a slightly left of field manner touched upon one of my many personal bugbears.
Why should we let things go?
Now I do totally agree that holding grudges is unhealthy and I do hold on to past injustice way too much, so i’m not disagreeing with the general principle of letting go, being a good thing for us personally. My problem is that it’s been hijacked by the guilty to excuse their guilt and pass the buck back onto the victim.
People in authority are constantly telling us to ‘let it go’ .it’s not for us, it’s for THEM to deflect and excuse their wrong doing.
- Politicians that constantly tell us ‘lessons will be learned’. Translation: ‘We want YOU to stop complaining . Stop holding us to account and let us go back to doing things as usual’. Lessons aren’t learned and they have no intention of doing so. This is about deflecting responsibility back onto the victims.
- The CEO or Boss who harms the business and treats the customers/employee’s badly and then turns it back on the consumer by saying ‘Let’s not dwell on the past. We need to draw a line under it and move on’. Translation: ‘We want YOU to stop complaining . Stop holding us to account and let us go back to doing things as usual’.
- The businesses that stonewall complaints and only respond with business bullshit. They talk about fixing the brand instead of acknowleding the problem. Translation: ‘We want YOU to stop complaining . Stop holding us to account and let us go back to doing things as usual’. This is about deflecting responsibility back onto the victims.
- Bullies who cause misery and then complain. ‘Ok I said sorry but you won’t let it go and keep holding me to account’. Translation. ‘I don’t want to feel bad or examine the consequences of my actions. I want YOU to shut up about it so I can go back to my old behaviour’.
- Self help books that tell you it’s all about YOUR attitude. If you’re not happy it’s due to YOU. Therefore you need to buy more of their books; rather than fixing what is wrong externally.
- Ditto, bad GP’s, NHS bosses, mental health workers etc.
Letting go IS good for us as individuals.
I try to practice ‘letting go’ more and more; but how dare people in power hijack this whole idea to avoid responsibility. It’s becoming an epidemic and it IS essentially victim blaming.
In my experience, most people can let anything go with a genuine apology or some kind of closure. They only start not being able to let things go when it continually brazenly happens with no recourse. So, i’m sorry, until people start accepting responsibility when they do wrong:
Let it go? Hell no !!